I'd like this blog to be a place for honesty and in the spirit of that honesty, I feel like it's only fair to tell you that my expectations for the future of this enterprise are extremely low. Below sea level probably. Down somewhere with the underwater volcanoes and giant squids. You may be thinking, "rachel, where's that unrelenting sense of optimism you claimed to have in your bio???hm????"
Well, Accusatory Blog Reader, my first lesson for you is this: every single bio is a lie. A harsh truth, I know, but a necessary piece of information if you ever find yourself making an eharmony account in the midst of a midlife crisis.

Anyways, I can't promise to be reliable or articulate or even kind-of-funny, but I can promise to share things that will at best, make you laugh and at worst, make you deeply grateful to not be me. Which really isn't such a bad gift.

With that in mind, I wanted to use this first post to introduce myself, so I've included a few highlights from the journal I kept during my senior year of high school below because that seems like a totally normal thing for someone who understands personal boundaries to do.

They are filled with grace, humility, and profound commentary on the human condition. I hope they allow you some insight into my character.

Aug. 19th– This music is v autumnal. I'm picturing slow motion running through red and orange leaves, knit sweaters, golden retrievers. Kind of putting me in the mood to watch Homeward Bound and wave an American flag tbh

Aug. 28th– My teacher is lecturing us about penmanship but I kind of like holding pens incorrectly. It's an endearing flaw. Much cuter than like, a crippling fear of commitment.

Sept. 21st– My friend brought lasagna to a party saturday night and that was the best part of my weekend

Oct. 7th– How do you spell weird? wierd weird wierd weird

Nov. 3rd– Kind of hated myself for being 110% basic this halloween but also I took a great mirror selfie that night so
you win some you lose some

Nov. 17th– he's honestly so perfect and he texts me the nicest things
*text being referenced was "you're not a disappointment"

Dec. 12th– We are listening to Michael Buble right now and I am profoundly disgusted. I literally feel nauseous right now. I would rather listen to Celine Dion than this.

Dec. 13th– We are listening to Celine Dion today and I take it all back

Jan. 30th– kind of embarrassed I forgot to wash the x's off my hands before school but also kind of hope my class thinks I am a rly cool person who reads poetry on fire escapes and goes to bars on Sunday nights

March 21st– today I feel like I have molasses on my brain

April 3rd– This song sounds like a bathtub and nothing else

May 23rd– My speech for this class is really good. Hopefully everyone will be there to hear it. The last paragraph about being humble is my fave
*can you spot the irony

May 28th– Last day of high school. Feeling extremely cheated because no one played "Don't You (Forget About Me)" from a boombox while I strolled across the football field. at least my teacher made us brownies