Classes I Would Like to Take Instead of Elementary Spanish

Shades of Grey: How to Separate Laundry– A helpful guide for segregating your burrito-stained clothes as well as an exploration of the cultural nuances in America. Final will include an essay on what to do with stripes.

Is It Ok If You Still Sort of Believe In Magic Like Not Completely But You Still Sometimes Check the Mail For a Hogwarts Letter– You found a jar of your teeth in the medicine cabinet when you were eight and figured out it wasn't actually a fairy slipping change underneath your pillow, but sometimes you still stare really hard at objects and expect them to move. Extra credit available if you join your school's quidditch team. 

Am I Actually Special Or Is That Just A Thing My Mom Says– Only homework for the class is a well-developed paragraph each week on any insecurities you might be facing. Professor will return work to you with smiley face stickers and encouraging comments about your unique thoughts and talents which no one else possesses. No red pens allowed. 

The Oxford Comma– Just a chill sesh led by that cool TA with the long hair. Class will mostly be spent listening to Vampire Weekend and reading Ezra Koenig's tweets aloud. 

Queen B, One Direction, and Pizza: The Internet and Its Absolute Power– Lecture will examine the arduous road to becoming Loved By The Internet and the merciless punishment doled out to anyone who dares question the outcome. Curriculum will begin with a series of essays titled "I Had No Idea Women Had a Right to Privacy Until J Law's Nudes Leaked"

Intermediate Studies in Facebook Moms– Will be discussing the currently known varieties of Facebook Moms with a focus on Wine Joke Moms and Moms Who Love America and Jesus. 

Hangovers: A Scientific Mystery– Debunking myths surrounding hangover cures with a particular concentration on the Just Drink More Water fable. Opportunities for undergraduate research in the field available. 

When Ur Faves R Problematic: Recognizing the Humanity of Celebrities– Course will cover main incidents in the past  five years of celebrity errors that made us *just* uncomfortable enough to tweet about them. Final will be a research paper describing proper steps to take after the "I support equal rights for men and women but I'm not a feminist" statement.

Developing Quirky Hobbies to Talk About at Parties–
 Will explore an unusual hobby each week, including: roller derby, woodworking, collecting rare comic books, card tricks, restoring 14th century pottery from South Asia, playing the accordion.

Buzzfeed: "Journalism" or Horrifying Blight Upon Humanity– Self explanatory.

Small Talk and How to Have It– Will include weekly challenges to exercise skills taught during lecture, such as sitting next to someone at a coffee shop even when there are plenty of empty tables available, arriving to class early to ask the professor how his son's piano recital went, going on a blind date with someone majoring in accounting, getting a haircut.

Why Do I Miss Pluto So Much– We don't know, but we miss him too. We miss him too.

honorable mentions:

How Many Diet Cokes Is Too Many Diet Cokes
Intro to Research: Traveling Beyond the First Page of Google
The Line Between Good and Evil In the Context of Memes
What Cheese Will Make Me Seem the Fanciest

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